I was recently taken to task by someone who read my blog about GROW coaching. She took issue with the section which said:
“For example, I don’t like spiders. An Option to overcome my dislike could be to go to ZSL London Zoo For their Friendly Spider Programme where I could end up with a Mexican Red-Knee Spider on my hand. Will I actually do that? Ummmm, probably no!”
Her point was that as a coach, I shouldn’t be admitting to any fears and “imperfections” (her word, not mine), as I should be a shining example to my clients of how to be ‘fearless’ (again, her word, not mine). And any fears … well, shouldn’t I be working on them?
Interesting and valid points which I was and am happy to answer.
I am a coach. I am also a human being, with all the flaws, imperfections and quirks of most human beings. And that means that sometimes, I am frightened of things and that is a good thing. It makes me compassionate to and empathetic with my clients. It is also a good thing when, for example, I get nervous before public speaking. It gives me that adrenaline rush which ups my game and indicates that I feel the speech is important to my audience, not just ‘another day at the office’.
And this is where the point about picking your battles comes in. I am nervous about public speaking and so I prepare thoroughly; my subject, equipment, notes, venue, outlook, clothes, everything. I do as much as I can to give myself confidence. I work through the fear to step up onto the stage because connecting with people, offering them insights and information which might support them, is important to me.
If I decided that I wanted to move to a country such as Australia which has a reputation for big spiders turning up regularly in your kitchen, then you can bet that my very first call would be to ZSL London Zoo because in that case, a fear of spiders could be a serious block to my future. However, feeling a bit uncomfortable and screaming like a 3 year old when I see a little UK house spider isn’t, so I am not going to spent valuable time and energy on it.
None of us have to be perfect and we don’t have to work on all our fears. Save your focus and energy for those which matter.
If this has struck a chord with you and you want to find out if coaching will support you, check out how we could work together and get in touch.