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Deborah Henry-Pollard: Creative Coaching

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Keeping a Positive Mind

Posted on 25 April, 2019 at 4:00 Comments comments (0)

“Whether you think you can or you think you can’t – either way you will be right”


Martin Luther King Jnr   

 

I have written before about the importance of having a vision. This is really powerful and if you write it down, draw it, or make a mood board, you can read/look at your vision paper whenever you want. But how can you keep it real, as they say, everyday? Particularly on a bad day?


One way is to distil your vision into a few words, an affirmation that means something to you. Your subconscious mind will give you exactly what you tell it. By repeating an affirmation again and again, you will hard wire your mind to think positively and your vision will become more of a reality to you. (Don’t believe me? Have you ever felt a bit bleurgh but have had to mentally gee yourself up because you were going to a party, meeting friends, etc., and didn’t want to be a wet blanket? It’s just the same principle. If you are into musicals, it is just like Deborah Kerr in 'The King and I' whistling a happy tune.)


How do you go about creating your affirmation?


The first place to start is with yourself.  This affirmation is all about you, what you want and how you want to inspire yourself.  So this is one occasion when the key word is “I”, for example:   


• I am a great artist 

• I am a successful writer 

• I am awash with creativity 

• I am a great public speaker 

• I love networking 

• I am confident   

 

Notice something else about those statements? They are all quite short. These are sentences you want to be able to remember and repeat quickly to yourself, so you don’t want an essay. Also, the subconscious mind likes simplicity.   

 

Did you also notice that all the statements are positive? Affirmations must be done with an upbeat twist. Why? You have to focus on what you do want because whatever you think, your mind conjures up. Don’t think of a blue rabbit in a tutu. Ah ha, I said don’t think of a blue rabbit in a tutu, but I reckon that little bunny is hopping around your brain just now. Blue bunnies are not a problem, but if your affirmation is “I don’t want to be a failure”, it puts the concept of failure into the brain. And be honest, which one is more inspiring:    


• I don’t want to be ill 

• I am healthy   


The last thing about the affirmations is that you put them in the present tense. This is telling your subconscious mind what you want in a way that makes it real. If you say “I will be a successful artist”, there is still a bit of doubt with the “will”. When you say, “I am a successful artist”, you can start believing in it and behaving accordingly, which can give you confidence.   


Obviously, it doesn’t matter how much you say something if you don’t put in the work to make it happen. However, if you have the vision, your affirmation is a little language device you can use to keep you on track and give you confidence.   

 

Many years ago, I went to the excellent ‘Best Year Yet’ workshop run by Jinny Ditzler and I created the affirmation for myself:  “I am everything I need, to be everything I want”. This has helped me when I want to try out new things and more forward. I also have another affirmation which is at the back of my mind when with clients: “I light the blue touch paper”.   


What affirmation will take you to your vision?

I'd Forgotten I'd Done That...

Posted on 28 March, 2019 at 11:10 Comments comments (0)



Can you remember all the things you have done in your professional career? 


I ask because in recent weeks, it is a common thread which has woven its way through client conversations. In the busyness of day to day professional life, we can forget some of the great work we have done in the past, or it has got lost as it was a small part of a bigger project. It could also be that we do not recognise the relevance of what we have done in the hurry of actually doing it. 


Every so often, it is worth sitting down with your CV, a blank piece of paper and a pen (or a computer if you prefer) and write down everything you did as part of a particular job / project. (This is relevant even if you are just starting out – look at any extra curricular projects you did at school / university which gave you new skills.) For example, a long time ago I had a post as an administrator with a charity and did all the usual administratory things you would expect. But along the way, under that great job description catchall of “and any other duties...”, I curated an exhibition of Shona sculpture at the Commonwealth Institute and managed large conferences.  


Once you have gone through your CV, add in anything you have done on a voluntary basis. Because we do this type of work out of a personal commitment, we often forget to acknowledge what we might have learned. (For example, in my voluntary life, I have developed very good group management skills through chairing boards.)  


Okay, we’ve done professional and voluntary lives, what about your life “outside” your professional practice everyday life? Think about all the skills and experience you have there.  

 

  • Have you planned a big birthday party for a friend? Event management. 
  • Have you arranged a holiday for yourself, your partner, your children? Multiple diary management. (Actually, parenthood is one of the best basic trainings for business skills you can get!) 
  • Do you play football?  Team building skills. 
  • Have you sat down with your bank statement and worked out how much money you have for food, going out, rent, etc., for the next month? Budgetting. 


Yes, okay, with some of these, you might need to develop the skills further, but you already have a good introduction.  


What is the point of doing all this work?  


If you want to move into another area of work and need to make an application for a job or project, seeing what you have already done can give you valuable evidence which you can add to your CV / covering letter / project brief, as well as giving you confidence that you have already had relevant experience.  


If you aren’t sure which direction you want to move into, it can give you a great overview of options, things you might not have immediately considered. For example, my running conferences could be a great opening for a new career in event management. 


Even if you think you don’t have particular experience, you can often find that skills you have are transferrable. For example, you may see a piece of work as successfully creating a piece of sculpture to be installed at a particular gallery on a particular date. In business skills terms, straight away we are looking at time management, logistics, client liaison, resource management, budgeting...   


Another important element to all this is that it gives you a chance to sit back and acknowledge exactly what you can do and have achieved to date. You would be surprised how many of us forget just how versatile and great we are on a day to day basis!  


Block yourself out half an hour, get a cup of your favourite beverage and do your own skills audit. At the end, read it through then say, “Yeah, that’s me and I’m great!” Then look how you can use all these newly recognised skills to move your practice forward.

Spring Clean Your Business

Posted on 21 March, 2019 at 5:55 Comments comments (0)


With Easter a few weeks away and the sun streaming through my office window, it looks like Spring has sprung!  


It's time to open the windows, get some fresh air through the place and spring clean your home. Why not harness the energy of the season and spring clean your professional life?   


Here are five tips on giving your career a Spring boost. 


1.  Take a fresh look at your vision. 


Do you know where you want to be in five years? Is your vision still pulling you forward? Remind yourself why this vision is important to you and how you will feel when you achieve it.  If your vision needs tweaking, this is a great time to do it so that it is challenging and exciting. If you don't have a vision, get out into the sun and give yourself time to let your mind create your future.   



2.  Spring clean your space.


Set aside time to go through all your files, drawers, cupboards, etc., in your workspace. It gives you a chance to throw out anything which is cluttering your space, redesign your space and it can also throw up ideas and opportunities.   


 

3.  Take a new look at things.


We can all get into a rut, doing things the same way because it is how you have always done it. During the course of a week, check out all the things you do regularly. For each thing, ask yourself "is this the best way to do this? Would another way be more stimulating or effective? Could I even get someone else to do it?" If you are happy with the way it is going, great!  If not, how could you change it?   


 

4.  Meet new people.


Find opportunities to mix with different people who can inspire and stimulate ideas. They could become clients, collaborators or friends or just spark new ways of seeing things.   


 

5.  Refresh your self belief.


Embrace your talents, your passions, your creativity, your drive and develop your positive attitude. If you believe you can do it, you will enrol others in your vision.

Take Five with Shannon Reed

Posted on 14 March, 2019 at 4:25 Comments comments (0)



Shannon Reed lives in East Dulwich, South London, and is the owner of Mockingbird Makes and is an inspiring speaker on Creativity for Wellness with over 15 years experience in creative innovation and personal development. She is also trained in Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction, and is a mum of two boys. Her passion is re-connecting people with their outsourced creativity so creates mostly bespoke items designed by her customers. She also teaches crochet, knitting and pompom making and offers unicorn decorating and pompom making parties. Her whimsical crochet cactus and key rings can be found in Pearspring Shop, Lordship Lane, and Home, Grove Vale, SE22. (She will also be at the Green Rooms Botanical Market March 30th 11-4pm at Peckham Springs selling her unkillable cactus, keyrings and Sophie Howard Jones pots.) If you aren't in south London, but would still love to have Shannon create something you for, contact her via her links at the foot of the blog.


In your professional life, what is the single best thing about what you do?

Re-connecting people (including myself!) with their creativity. My soap box is that we all too often out-source our creativity to others and that can be a huge detriment to our health. I love seeing the spark of joy in a customer, student or audience's eye when they get that creative muscle working - whether that be through designing something that I make for them, mastering a new stitch, or connecting with something I’ve said at a talk I’m giving. We give away so much of our agency when we delegate our creativity by blindly following trends and ideologies. Never mind missing out on all the opportunities our creativity gives us to understand who we really are and therefore uncovering the treasure that we have to offer the world.

 

Do you have a creative hero / heroine and if so, why? 

For my personal development my current is Elizabeth Gilbert after attending her Big Magic workshop nearly a year ago. As well as 'Eat Pray Love' being a touching and inspiring read, the depth that Liz goes to in her self-exploration is really connecting. A friend and I meet once a month to practice the Big Magic writing exercise and it is so helpful in uncovering unconscious feelings and checking in with where we are and where we want to be. For more “professional” inspiration I’ve recently discovered Vanessa Barragao a textile artist based in Portugal and her coral tapestries www.vanessabarragao.com - phenomenal!


What piece of advice do you wish you had been given at the beginning of your career?

I was lucky to have people support me right from the beginning by encouraging me to follow my intuition. That voice told me to go slow and follow what feels good. I don’t think, for me, I’d have done it any other way. Actually I do have one thing, build your email list!


If you hit a creative block, what is your top tip for getting through it?

Step away, file the “wrong” answer away for when it is the right time, and make room for the “right” answer to take its place. Physically moving in nature is always helpful.


And finally, for fun, if you were a shoe, what type of shoe would you be and why?

Ideally at my best an Ugg boot! Soft, cosy, casual and nurturing. But otherwise more of a supportive trainer (oh where is the glamour?!).


Links:

https://mockingbirdmakes.business.site

https://www.instagram.com/mockingbird_makes/

https://www.facebook.com/mockingbirdmakes/

Happy Valentine's Day

Posted on 14 February, 2019 at 3:30 Comments comments (0)



"Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world."

Lucille Ball


Wherever you look today, there are Valentine’s Day cards, chocolates, menus, flowers, champagne, meal deals, jewellery, perfume, … all the things you need to declare your love for your partner.  (Although I’ve found a big hug and “I love you” works just as well as baubles, but then I’m not trying to sell a product.)

 

In the middle of all the proclamations of love to others, are you remembering to love yourself?

 

I don’t mean loving yourself once you’ve lost that weight, got that promotion, found that man, sculpted those abs.  I mean loving yourself now, even with all those little flaws that probably only you see or care about.  It is about treating yourself with self respect, compassion, kindness, affection, tenderness, all the qualities you would bring to your relationship with your best friend.

 

Sometimes people have problems with loving themselves, thinking it is selfish or arrogant.  But in fact, it will make you more confident and happy and that can only impact positively on those around you.  It can help you to achieve your goals and dreams.

 

So how do you do this?  Well, better people than me have written countless books on this, but for starters, you can take a leaf out of Queen Latifah’s book: “When I was around 18, I looked in the mirror and said, 'You're either going to love yourself or hate yourself.' And I decided to love myself. That changed a lot of things.”


And yes okay, why not buy yourself some flowers to celebrate loving yourself?

The Begin Book

Posted on 7 February, 2019 at 7:25 Comments comments (1)


I have a ‘Begin’ Book which I use to start my day. It started by accident.


When I was going through the coaching process to find a route to my new career (leading me to where I am today), my late coach, Cherry Douglas, encouraged me to find and keep anything which set me thinking about possible new careers. These include postcards, images from magazines, phrases from job descriptions, feedback from colleagues, headlines from articles. There were thought provoking, inspiring or just things I liked the look of. The idea was to keep them with no judgement and every so often, pull out 2 or 3 at random to imaging possible new careers.


When the exercise of collection was over, I was left with a couple of box files of material. Some I was happy to let go of and it went into the recycling bin. But other pieces had a longer lasting resonance and I wanted to keep them. They would help to remind me of my aims for my new career and focus me on a daily basis.


I bought a spiral bound scrapbook with hard covers - at first, this was just from the aspect of longevity and ease of use, but I soon discovered another purpose. I could open the book at any page and stand it up on my desk. The book also has a ribbon tie and that has added to my daily ritual.


When I get into my office every work day, I undo the ribbon tie and open the book at random.


I stand the book open at those pages next to my desk and these pages create the context for my day.


If I lose my rhythm or motivation, I can look at the pages and remind myself of my daily context. It gives me a boost, a refocus. And if I am really stuck, I can flick through the book or check the pitch at the back of the book where I keep thank you letters from clients.

 

At the end of the day, I close the book and retie the ribbon. (As a solopreneur, this is also a useful physical reminder for starting and ending my work day!)


It is a simple tool, but one which helps to start my day and keep me on track.


If you need support in getting started and keeping on track, get in touch and see how we might be able to work together.

Life Lessons Over Lipstick

Posted on 31 January, 2019 at 5:00 Comments comments (0)



 

Who have been your major positive influences, who have helped to shape you in ways you never realised?


It is the late 1960s. I am sitting watching my paternal Grandmother, Victoria, putting on her makeup. This is the first time I have been allowed to do so. She will be dead in a few months, so unbeknownst to both of us, it will also be the last time. Grandma is the only woman in my small 8 year old world who wears makeup. She is in her late sixties, but has a timeless glamour with her brilliant red lipstick, hennaed hair, whip thin figure, style and elegance.


Her morning transformation is my first real encounter with what it is to be a ‘glamourous’ type woman. As she applies face powder and tea rose perfume (the aromas of which still conjure her up to me), I ask lots of questions, like why should women wear makeup and worry about their outfits?


“Because,” she says, “a woman should always be ‘finished’. You never know who you are going to meet during the course of a day. It could be the person who could change your life.”


"But," I ask, "why makeup, why stick paint all over your face?"


“Because to get on in this world, a girl has to be seen to be pretty or intelligent.”


Taking my chin in her hand, she looks at me intently and says, “And you, my dear, will have to be very intelligent.”


At the age of 8, none of this means a lot to me (although I know enough not to recount this episode to my mother.) For one thing, I am a tomboy whose greatest ambition is to be a cowboy, and cowboys have never struck me as needing to be either pretty or intelligent. However, as I grow up, reach my late teens and start getting interested in being female, subconsciously I start taking Grandma’s advice. I try to dress as well as my budget will allow and even when I’m being casual, always make sure that I am “finished”. This has stood me in good stead when I have been called to a job interview with 4 hours notice or have met someone at a casual event who turns into a future client. (By the way, I am not saying women 'should' wear makeup - it is about finding your own definition of what gets you ready to meet the world.)


I have also taken the intelligence bit to heart, keeping an open mind and a willingness to learn. When I got the results of the degree I undertook in my 30s, my first thought was for Grandma. I think she realised that I was like her in many ways. She was a strong, self-reliant woman who never let circumstances beat her, who was always looking on the optimistic side and who, if something went wrong, would brush it off and move on to the next thing. Abandoned by her husband and left alone with their baby, she went from crying on finding a coin in the gutter because it meant she could buy food for that night, to owning her own house. She never saw a reason why being a woman would have to stop her doing anything she wanted (although pragmatic enough to know that sometimes, it paid to play by 'the rules' of the time, hence the pretty or intelligent comment).


I think she was aware that I would not, as an 8 year old, get upset and take to heart, negatively, what she had said.


But I do wonder if she knew exactly how much what she said would shape my life and who I am.

Abundance

Posted on 11 January, 2019 at 0:35 Comments comments (0)



Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace.

Buddha


11 days into January and how are you doing with your New Year’s Resolutions?  That bad, huh?!

 

Last year, I made a list of things I wanted to do; create more work, learn as much as possible, make new friends and contacts, read, dance, visit galleries, exercise, etc, etc.  I had it all set up with goals, timelines, action points. Gosh, it was impressive, but in order to get everything I wanted done, it seemed I would have to timetable my life down to the last second. By 3 weeks into the shiny New Year, I realised there was no way I could keep up with my clever plans and all I had done was created about 30 sticks with which to beat myself.  


Now, goals and action points can be really useful, but sometimes they can become the focus rather than the tools. You can find yourself completing your actions successfully whilst losing sight of what you wanted to achieve in the first place. I would say that most often, what we ultimately want to achieve is a state of mind, such as happiness, balance, security, independence, well being, accomplishment.  


When I recognised this last year, I immediately threw out my New Year’s Resolutions and decided that I would concentrate on just one word, which for me was Abundance. This covered so much – abundance of time, friendship, money, energy, balance. I lived my life within this context during the year and at the end of it, I had had a successful business year; written a book; created new collaborations; made loads of new contacts and had new clients. By living in a mindset of Abundance, I felt I had enough of all the things I needed to achieve all the things I wanted. I didn’t get quite as stressed out by self imposed “oughts” and “shoulds” and found myself open to all kinds of opportunities which I never expected.  


This year, I am keeping Abundance as my word and adding Forgiveness – forgiveness to myself for the days when I get a bit too action led.  


What is the word which will inspire you this year? And if you can't find it, perhaps I can help.

Choose Your New Year

Posted on 2 January, 2019 at 5:55 Comments comments (0)



This is the time of year when people set their New Year’s Resolutions - getting fit, getting a new job, starting a new hobby, finding love…


A lot of people I have spoken with find New Year’s Resolutions a chore, things which most often fail, which we end up feeling bad about.


I was talking about this recently with a client and asking what they wanted for this next year. They were caught between two extremes. On the one hand, they had a goal which seemed to them too small - to be able to mediate for 5 minutes a day. At the other extreme, they want to write a novel, but they couldn’t see how they could do that alongside an existing and successful creative practice.


She had more or less decided to do neither meaning she would have got to the end of the year in more or less the position which she began it.


This particular client has been thinking about her book for a few years with notes written and a rough chapter outline. The only thing stopping her in this (and in her mediation practice) was her commitment, her choosing that this was something which was important to her.


With my support, she has reminded herself why these things are important to her, why she had wanted to do them in the first place, the changes they will make to her life and her well being. Out of that picture of a new future, she has begun to create a plan, a way of moving forward. She has blocked chunks of time into her diary when she can write, and put a reminder on her calendar to do one small thing a day towards her book.


She started ‘road testing’ some possible ways of working in December, to give her a head start on the year. We are only a little way in, but it is going well so far. She has changed her mindset from, “one day I will write a novel”, to “I am a novelist”. With her business as busy as it is, she possibly won’t have it finished or be ready to publish by December, but she will have it much further along the line that it is at present, a work in progress rather than, in her words, an “epic fail”. And her meditation programme will help to reinforce a mindset of calm and possibility.


How can you change your mindset to support you so that you can choose is important to you for the next 12 months, so that you can look back, on 31st December, having achieved your goals?

Making the most of December

Posted on 5 December, 2018 at 13:55 Comments comments (0)



December is a strange time for freelancers. On the one hand, you might be hectically trying to get work finished before the break or on the other, you are left waiting for work until the New Year as potential clients are winding down.


Whichever camp you find yourself in, December is a good time to be networking. Received wisdom will tell you that if you work alone, you won't have an office party. This doesn't mean you need to be sitting at home during the festive season like a Billy No-Mates.

 

If you have been busy during the year making contacts or going to events, it is surprising how many Christmas parties you will get invited to. They could be run by colleagues, collaborators, suppliers, venues, networking groups, professional bodies and of course, social groups. Whoever hosts them, they are great opportunities to touch base with existing contacts and make more.

 

Even for the most Scrooge like, it is worth getting involved with the seasonal jollity whether it is drinks at the pub or a sit down meal. If you have a product or service which can be packaged as a Christmas gift, you might get a chance to catch the last minute gift buyers. You can pick people's brains about their plans for the New Year so that you can be ready to get back in touch with them in January. As they look ahead, you may even start to sow seeds about ways they might need your work in the next 12 months. At the very worse, you will meet a bunch of great people to add to your network who may be very useful to know at some point in the future.


So, put on your party shoes, pack your business cards and get out there!