|Posted on 29 November, 2018 at 8:10||comments (0)|
I keep a wishlist.
It is made up of two types of items. Some are those things which I am actually going to do and they live on the list as reminders until I am ready to put them into action. For example, when I lived in Chester, I had ‘move back to London’ on the list. Over a couple of years, this went from being a general idea, to becoming a real vision, a plan, actions and finally, reality.
Other things live on the list as ‘wouldn’t it be nice?”, but to which I am not necessary committed to doing anything about at the moment. They live on the list as possibilities if the right circumstances arise. These can be things like have a portrait done (by the wonderful Taragh), direct a film, go to Buenos Aries … Some of these things have happened, some have yet to happen.
The great thing about having items on a wishlist, rather than a To Do list, is that it keeps them in your mind, but without the pressure of having yet something else to think about. Also, occasionally it just isn’t the right time - you might need to get more skills, more money, you haven’t met the right person/group of people, it is a ‘nice’ thing but not a priority, the idea isn’t yet fully formed, or any other number of reasons. My wishlist has the names of several people I already know with whom I want to work in the future, but the project just hasn’t shown itself yet.
Some things my clients have on their lists include: get an accountant; get a cleaner; get a Virtual Assistant; learn French; go for a specialist holiday to learn to use watercolours; go on a yoga retreat; trace a family tree. Every so often, when the time and the feeling is right, one of these wishes makes it on to the To Do list, where it is then planned, put into a timeline and actions identified.
By reviewing your wishlist on a regular basis (I look at mine every couple of months), you remind yourself of things which you would like and they sit at the back of your mind for that moment when someone mentions they run intensive French courses and have a special discount at the moment, have just hired a really good VA, or know a yoga teacher who wants to run a trial retreat and needs volunteers. (All these are real examples which have happened to clients.)
So, what will go on your Wishlist today?
|Posted on 15 November, 2018 at 4:20||comments (0)|
I have written before about creating a vision for your future and how it can motivate you.
Visualisation is also a terrific tool to use in other circumstances. When I had panic attacks in the past, a tool I used to manage them has been a visualisation process learnt from Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. It is a displacement activity, taking you out of the immediate panic and giving you space to calm down.
You begin the process when you are unstressed. The idea is that you spend time (maybe a few sessions of 5 or 10 minutes) building up a strong picture of your ‘safe place’ so that if/when a stressful situation occurs, you can immediately switch into your fully imagined place. (For me, it is Venice.)
To build the picture:*
It is a great and easy tool where you create your own experience of calm and which, even better, no-one can see you using. (Sometimes the fear of others seeing you having/dealing a panic attack can add to the stress, so a ‘secret’ tool is doubly beneficial.)
So, if ever you are with me in a stressful situation and I momentarily zone out, I am just taking in the Venetian air!
*(taken from http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk where you can also find many other useful CBT tools)
|Posted on 20 June, 2018 at 5:00||comments (0)|
"But I don’t feel afraid
As long as I gaze on Waterloo Sunset
I am in Paradise"
© Warner/Chappell Music, Inc.
How do you keep yourself focussed and on track when you are working towards a goal?
One method I have found extremely powerful is visioning, having a clear image of what you want to achieve and keeping this in your mind regardless of any ups and downs along the way. The vision which keeps you going could be the opening night of your first solo exhibition; opening the cover of your debut novel; reading your profile in The Observer...
As a creative person, you can build up a clear picture for yourself – where you are, who is there with you, how you are feeling, what you are thinking. Make it as rich and full a vision as you want and remind yourself of it every day. You can use an image as your computer wallpaper or use a mood board, or use music.
The best example I have of using visioning in my own life comes from a few years ago, when I was living in Chester where I had been for 9 years. I like Chester very much, but I really wanted to get back to London, a place I love. On 1 January 2001, I told my friends that by 31 December 2001, I would be back in London.
I had no idea where in London I would be living, whether in a flat or house, or what sort of job I would be doing. So I created a quite simple picture for myself as my vision for my hoped for new life. On the day after I moved back to London, I would stand on Waterloo Bridge with my CD player and as the sun went down over the Thames, I would listen to Ray Davies’s mini masterpiece, “Waterloo Sunset”. At that moment, I would know that my goal had been achieved.
During the next few months, I had several near miss job interviews and “almost” opportunities, with all the emotional highs and lows which go along with them. But every morning, without fail, I would refocus my efforts and my intentions by playing “Waterloo Sunset”.
On the late afternoon of 18 December, 2001, I could have been found on Waterloo Bridge huddled against the chill air, wearing earphones and a silly big grin on my face as I watched the wintery sun slide behind The Houses of Parliament, listening to this wonderful song, before going home to my new south London flat. It was a bit of a close run thing, but I made my goal with a few days to spare.
And even better, whenever I need to focus on a goal, I can go back to the song and know, “Well, I made that goal, I can make the next one.”