|Posted on 31 October, 2019 at 6:35|
“If you don’t know what you want you’ll end up with what you get”
We are all somewhere - home, location, relationships, job, etc.
How much of that has been through choice and how much because it has just “happened”, that you have just drifted into?
In a lot of our lives, there can be things when, if someone asked us why we are living in this house going to this group, etc., where we might not be able to give a clear answer: “I just fell into it.”
I fell into project management and administration because that’s how my mind works, putting things into plans. Add to that my ability to ask questions and draw out peoples’ ideas and you can see how I drifted into a career in fundraising.
So drifting can be fine? It can be if the drifting has happened because you don’t have strong feelings either way, you are enjoying the journey or it is just the thing you need to be doing at that time.
As an example, having fallen into my fundraising career, I had a period where I knew it wasn’t where I wanted to be. Then I had a series of personal events which took over my life and I parked changing my career. I simply didn’t have the head space to deal with a further upheaval so I trod water. Once the other areas of my life settled down, I could refocus on my career and make the changes I needed.
To carry on the drifting analogy before you know it, it can be like being carried too far out to sea by a strong current. Getting out of your depth can be a very creative place to be. (As David Bowie said, "If you feel safe in the area you’re working in, you’re not working in the right area. Always go a little further into the water than you feel you’re capable of being in. Go a little bit out of your depth. And when you don’t feel that your feet are quite touching the bottom, you’re just about in the right place to do something exciting.")
However, you can also find yourself in unfriendly waters, buffeted by the elements and out of control and the drifting is the thing that is stopping or blocking you. Often this can make you believe that you don’t have a choice.
So if you feel you are drifting and not in a good way, how can you begin to make those changes?
Create a picture of what you want in every area of your life.
Decide which parts of your life you are happy with, those you can live with and the real pain points, the bits with which aren’t happy.
You don't need to change everything at once. What small changes can you make and over what timeframe?
And before you know it, you are deciding when to stay on course and when to allow a bit of creative drifting to take place.